reprinted with (assumed) permission
Another excerpt from 'Devil King Of Children'
a novel in progress by Bill Chambers
[Editor's note: This was written, and thus much more effective, prior to the death of Michael Jackson.]
And so it was written that the infamous Jackson family would reunite yet again for a final farewell concert, only this time it would take place on a billion dollar cruise ship in undisclosed, international waters. The audience was comprised of high profile American celebrities, political and religious leaders from around the world, the five Primi of the Illuminati, fifty contest winners (all from North America), and various members of the extended Jackson clan, including Michael Jackson's ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley. Each guest (including the contest winners) was required to pay $3000 to witness this "once in a lifetime" concert event. Somehow this bizarre situation provided a legal loophole which, for reasons too elaborate to explain, allowed for maximum, untaxable financial gain for the Jackson family, who orchestrated this whole event for the sole purpose of promoting Michael's latest album, "Horrifying" (but also to launder money for the Vatican.)
[page missing]
Seconds before the entire ship capsized, leaving most of the crew and passengers completely unprepared for their violent, watery deaths, all six Jackson brothers, and their parents Joe and Katherine, managed to escape on an inflatable life raft. The brothers routinely picked up Michael (who was catatonic) like a rolled-up carpet and promptly deposited him on the raft. Then the other Jacksons climbed on and quickly set sail before any of the other passengers could board, even though it was the last life-raft and there was room for at least six more. Unbelievably, the Jacksons somehow all survived the storm, only to set adrift aimlessly for days in a yellow raft somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Eventually, hunger, thirst, and maddening endless sunlight took their toll, and, in a cathartic act of revenge and desperation, the brothers gruesomely and unremorsefully devoured their parents. At first they were shocked at how easy it was to dominate the elderly couple, but even more shocking was how quickly and passionately the brothers disemboweled and feasted on the innards of their own parents.
The following are transcripts of conversations from the final hours of the Jackson brothers, as recorded on the digital police wire that Tito was required by Federal Law to wear at all times, and which was recovered months later, tangled in a human skeleton found in a Lebanese drainage ditch.
TRANSCRIPT 1
Jermaine:
It's weird how we are probably the last people alive from that ship... I don't know, it's just really weird.
[long silence]
I mean, they were all there to see us perform and everything, and its just-
Marlon:
Weird, we know, it's all so weird. That's all you fucking say, man, please, just shut the fuck up about how weird it is! Why don't you think about how the fuck we gonna get rescued, or how we ain't gonna starve to death and shit!!
Michael:
I think it's obvious.
[brief silence]
Jackie:
Uh, when we ate Mom and Joseph, it was just kind of one of those things, you know? One of us probably would have killed them eventually anyway, even if we didn't need to… do what we did.
Marlon:
Yo, we ate Joseph for three days, and I don't remember YOU skipping any meals!
Jackie:
Look, I'm just saying that we should concentrate on getting rescued BEFORE we starve-
Randy:
I barely got four bites.
Jackie: (getting exasperated)
Okay, okay, then how the fuck do we decide which one of us gets fucking eaten, huh? What, are we just going to fucking draw straws and shit?!?
[brief silence]
Michael:
I think we should go by which one of us is the least popular.
Marlon:
Hey, why is everyone looking at me? Randy wasn't even in the Jackson 5!!! Kids loved me! I was "Michael's closest brother," remember? Nobody ever liked Tito, let's eat him!
Tito:
You're fooling yourself, bro. I was lead guitar. You were the dead weight. What does everyone else think?
[sounds of general agreement]
Marlon:
Dead weight my ass!! Jackie was the dead weight, and we all know it. He was just the loser hanging out with his little brothers!
Jackie:
I wasn't such a loser when I was fucking Paula Abdul up the ass, now was I? I vote that we eat Marlon, because he's such a bitch-ass. By the way, how's your wife, Marlon? Think you'll ever get back together?
Marlon:
Eat Shit, Jackie!!! I vote that we eat you!! Are you with me, brothers?? Plus he's big enough to feed us until we get rescued! Let's eat Jackie!!
Randy:
I vote for eating Marlon. So that's two votes for Marlon. This doesn't have to be unanimous, does it?
Marlon: (nervously)
Whoa, hold up, hold up. Michael, you haven't said anything, what do you think? Please little brother, remember all the fun times we had? Ain't that worth anything? Let's eat Jermaine instead, he's the one that abandoned the family!! He didn't care about his brothers back then, who’s to say that he wouldn't turn on us now?
Jermaine:
You're a little bitch, Marlon!! You know how hard my life was back then, I had a family of my own, and-why the fuck do I have to explain myself again? Besides, Michael forgave me already, right Mike?
[brief silence]
Marlon:
Jermaine was always trying to hog your spotlight, remember, Mike? I knew my place, but Jermaine had no talent, he was just playing yours!!
Jermaine:
I had two Top 10 singles as a solo artist, bitch! When's your next album coming out?
Tito:
I vote for Marlon.
Jermaine:
Me, too... Marlon or Randy.
Randy:
Fuck You!!!
[awkward silence]
Tito:
So, it's Marlon then, right Michael?
Marlon:
Please, Michael, please. Look at me. Just look me in the eyes. Don't let them kill me!! I'm your brother, man, your fucking brother! I'm begging you, little brother! Please don't let them eat me!!
[brief silence]
Michael:
But they outvoted you. Sorry, Marlon.
Marlon:
Mike, you can't do that, you can't fucking do that!!
[muffled sounds]
Hey get off me, get the fuck off!!
[muffled sounds of screaming followed by silence]
TRANSCRIPT 2
Randy: (whispering)
This is all Michael's fault. All this shit. I say we eat him next.
Tito: (whispering)
Michael couldn't feed the three of us. There was barely enough meat on Jermaine to last one day. No way Mike gonna work. We gotta eat fucking Jackie.
Randy:
Jackie is our oldest brother and my best friend. He's on our side, Tito, let's get Mike instead. He's fucked in the head. All he does is sleep or sit there without talking, cradling Jermaine's skull like some sort of trophy. I'm telling you, he's fucked.
Tito:
I can't turn on Mike. It's like he's got a spell on me, I mean, he can sense what I'm thinking before I think it or something. He's the only one who can get us out of here.
Randy:
You're starting to scare me, bro. He's not in control, he's just one man. Maybe if we kill him, you'll understand.
Tito:
Fuck that. I'd rather kill you. You're still really weak, I bet I could kill you without even waking Michael up. Then he would be so pleased when he wakes to find your bludgeoned head hanging over the side, weeping blood into the great blue sea...
Randy:
Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? You can't kill me, I-
[gurgling sounds]
Get off! Help me Michael-
[gurgling sounds]
[a dull thud can be heard, followed by many furious hitting noises]
Tito:
Jackie! Michael! Wake up, wake up!! Something happened to Randy!!!
TRANSCRIPT 3
This final excerpt documents the apparent final words of Tito, the last survivor of the life-raft. He is talking out loud to himself, using a variety of different voices which seem to represent the people indicated in the transcript.
Tito: (singing)
Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons…
[Tito changes his voice to sound like Michael]
Michael voice:
You betrayed us, Tito.
[Tito then changes his voice to sound like Jackie]
Jackie voice: (screaming)
Murderer!! Murderer!!! For the love of God, don't let me die like this!!!
Tito:
No, it's not like that, don't you see? You'll both live forever in me, through me! Michael is the Eye and Jackie is the Snake, and I am the Great Pyramid!!!
Michael voice:
You killed God.
Tito:
Jesus wasn't God. No man is God. Not even Michael Fucking Jackson. God is Man, not one, but all men. You are not IT, but you are just a vessel for IT.
Jackie voice: (screaming)
STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!!
Tito:
What is IT? Well, it is lots of things. The words I say, the way they sound. The smell of death, the taste of life; Your death, the blood- it's all part of IT, and at the same time ALL of IT, and also NONE of IT.
Jackie voice: (screaming)
Michael, do something!!! How can you sit there and not do anything!!! MICHAEL!!!! TITO!!!!
Tito:
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP WHY WON"T YOU SHUT UP!!! You are dead, all dead!!! ALL DEAD!!! And dead people can't talk!!!!!
Michael voice:
Ahh, but remember, you said it yourself, we live forever through you. It is done.
Tito:
That's right, it's fucking done all right, it's fucking done!!! IT'S ALL FUCKING DONE!!!! IT'S ALL FUCKING DONE!!! I AM EVERYTHING!!! IT'S ALL INSIDE!!! I AM THE FUCKING SEA!!! I AM THE FUCKING SEA!!!!
[static noises]
end of transcript
And so it was written that the infamous Jackson family would reunite yet again for a final farewell concert, only this time it would take place on a billion dollar cruise ship in undisclosed, international waters. The audience was comprised of high profile American celebrities, political and religious leaders from around the world, the five Primi of the Illuminati, fifty contest winners (all from North America), and various members of the extended Jackson clan, including Michael Jackson's ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley. Each guest (including the contest winners) was required to pay $3000 to witness this "once in a lifetime" concert event. Somehow this bizarre situation provided a legal loophole which, for reasons too elaborate to explain, allowed for maximum, untaxable financial gain for the Jackson family, who orchestrated this whole event for the sole purpose of promoting Michael's latest album, "Horrifying" (but also to launder money for the Vatican.)
[page missing]
Seconds before the entire ship capsized, leaving most of the crew and passengers completely unprepared for their violent, watery deaths, all six Jackson brothers, and their parents Joe and Katherine, managed to escape on an inflatable life raft. The brothers routinely picked up Michael (who was catatonic) like a rolled-up carpet and promptly deposited him on the raft. Then the other Jacksons climbed on and quickly set sail before any of the other passengers could board, even though it was the last life-raft and there was room for at least six more. Unbelievably, the Jacksons somehow all survived the storm, only to set adrift aimlessly for days in a yellow raft somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Eventually, hunger, thirst, and maddening endless sunlight took their toll, and, in a cathartic act of revenge and desperation, the brothers gruesomely and unremorsefully devoured their parents. At first they were shocked at how easy it was to dominate the elderly couple, but even more shocking was how quickly and passionately the brothers disemboweled and feasted on the innards of their own parents.
The following are transcripts of conversations from the final hours of the Jackson brothers, as recorded on the digital police wire that Tito was required by Federal Law to wear at all times, and which was recovered months later, tangled in a human skeleton found in a Lebanese drainage ditch.
TRANSCRIPT 1
Jermaine:
It's weird how we are probably the last people alive from that ship... I don't know, it's just really weird.
[long silence]
I mean, they were all there to see us perform and everything, and its just-
Marlon:
Weird, we know, it's all so weird. That's all you fucking say, man, please, just shut the fuck up about how weird it is! Why don't you think about how the fuck we gonna get rescued, or how we ain't gonna starve to death and shit!!
Michael:
I think it's obvious.
[brief silence]
Jackie:
Uh, when we ate Mom and Joseph, it was just kind of one of those things, you know? One of us probably would have killed them eventually anyway, even if we didn't need to… do what we did.
Marlon:
Yo, we ate Joseph for three days, and I don't remember YOU skipping any meals!
Jackie:
Look, I'm just saying that we should concentrate on getting rescued BEFORE we starve-
Randy:
I barely got four bites.
Jackie: (getting exasperated)
Okay, okay, then how the fuck do we decide which one of us gets fucking eaten, huh? What, are we just going to fucking draw straws and shit?!?
[brief silence]
Michael:
I think we should go by which one of us is the least popular.
Marlon:
Hey, why is everyone looking at me? Randy wasn't even in the Jackson 5!!! Kids loved me! I was "Michael's closest brother," remember? Nobody ever liked Tito, let's eat him!
Tito:
You're fooling yourself, bro. I was lead guitar. You were the dead weight. What does everyone else think?
[sounds of general agreement]
Marlon:
Dead weight my ass!! Jackie was the dead weight, and we all know it. He was just the loser hanging out with his little brothers!
Jackie:
I wasn't such a loser when I was fucking Paula Abdul up the ass, now was I? I vote that we eat Marlon, because he's such a bitch-ass. By the way, how's your wife, Marlon? Think you'll ever get back together?
Marlon:
Eat Shit, Jackie!!! I vote that we eat you!! Are you with me, brothers?? Plus he's big enough to feed us until we get rescued! Let's eat Jackie!!
Randy:
I vote for eating Marlon. So that's two votes for Marlon. This doesn't have to be unanimous, does it?
Marlon: (nervously)
Whoa, hold up, hold up. Michael, you haven't said anything, what do you think? Please little brother, remember all the fun times we had? Ain't that worth anything? Let's eat Jermaine instead, he's the one that abandoned the family!! He didn't care about his brothers back then, who’s to say that he wouldn't turn on us now?
Jermaine:
You're a little bitch, Marlon!! You know how hard my life was back then, I had a family of my own, and-why the fuck do I have to explain myself again? Besides, Michael forgave me already, right Mike?
[brief silence]
Marlon:
Jermaine was always trying to hog your spotlight, remember, Mike? I knew my place, but Jermaine had no talent, he was just playing yours!!
Jermaine:
I had two Top 10 singles as a solo artist, bitch! When's your next album coming out?
Tito:
I vote for Marlon.
Jermaine:
Me, too... Marlon or Randy.
Randy:
Fuck You!!!
[awkward silence]
Tito:
So, it's Marlon then, right Michael?
Marlon:
Please, Michael, please. Look at me. Just look me in the eyes. Don't let them kill me!! I'm your brother, man, your fucking brother! I'm begging you, little brother! Please don't let them eat me!!
[brief silence]
Michael:
But they outvoted you. Sorry, Marlon.
Marlon:
Mike, you can't do that, you can't fucking do that!!
[muffled sounds]
Hey get off me, get the fuck off!!
[muffled sounds of screaming followed by silence]
TRANSCRIPT 2
Randy: (whispering)
This is all Michael's fault. All this shit. I say we eat him next.
Tito: (whispering)
Michael couldn't feed the three of us. There was barely enough meat on Jermaine to last one day. No way Mike gonna work. We gotta eat fucking Jackie.
Randy:
Jackie is our oldest brother and my best friend. He's on our side, Tito, let's get Mike instead. He's fucked in the head. All he does is sleep or sit there without talking, cradling Jermaine's skull like some sort of trophy. I'm telling you, he's fucked.
Tito:
I can't turn on Mike. It's like he's got a spell on me, I mean, he can sense what I'm thinking before I think it or something. He's the only one who can get us out of here.
Randy:
You're starting to scare me, bro. He's not in control, he's just one man. Maybe if we kill him, you'll understand.
Tito:
Fuck that. I'd rather kill you. You're still really weak, I bet I could kill you without even waking Michael up. Then he would be so pleased when he wakes to find your bludgeoned head hanging over the side, weeping blood into the great blue sea...
Randy:
Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? You can't kill me, I-
[gurgling sounds]
Get off! Help me Michael-
[gurgling sounds]
[a dull thud can be heard, followed by many furious hitting noises]
Tito:
Jackie! Michael! Wake up, wake up!! Something happened to Randy!!!
TRANSCRIPT 3
This final excerpt documents the apparent final words of Tito, the last survivor of the life-raft. He is talking out loud to himself, using a variety of different voices which seem to represent the people indicated in the transcript.
Tito: (singing)
Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons…
[Tito changes his voice to sound like Michael]
Michael voice:
You betrayed us, Tito.
[Tito then changes his voice to sound like Jackie]
Jackie voice: (screaming)
Murderer!! Murderer!!! For the love of God, don't let me die like this!!!
Tito:
No, it's not like that, don't you see? You'll both live forever in me, through me! Michael is the Eye and Jackie is the Snake, and I am the Great Pyramid!!!
Michael voice:
You killed God.
Tito:
Jesus wasn't God. No man is God. Not even Michael Fucking Jackson. God is Man, not one, but all men. You are not IT, but you are just a vessel for IT.
Jackie voice: (screaming)
STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!!
Tito:
What is IT? Well, it is lots of things. The words I say, the way they sound. The smell of death, the taste of life; Your death, the blood- it's all part of IT, and at the same time ALL of IT, and also NONE of IT.
Jackie voice: (screaming)
Michael, do something!!! How can you sit there and not do anything!!! MICHAEL!!!! TITO!!!!
Tito:
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP WHY WON"T YOU SHUT UP!!! You are dead, all dead!!! ALL DEAD!!! And dead people can't talk!!!!!
Michael voice:
Ahh, but remember, you said it yourself, we live forever through you. It is done.
Tito:
That's right, it's fucking done all right, it's fucking done!!! IT'S ALL FUCKING DONE!!!! IT'S ALL FUCKING DONE!!! I AM EVERYTHING!!! IT'S ALL INSIDE!!! I AM THE FUCKING SEA!!! I AM THE FUCKING SEA!!!!
[static noises]
end of transcript
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