My Response To What Happened To The DTBS Dancers

As you are surely aware, The Dare To Be Stupid Dancers were scheduled to be on the WGG show last week.

The DTBSD was a group of morbidly obese adolescent boys, dressed in Hawaiian shirts, who danced around to "Weird Al Yankovic" songs.

By the second or third song, they're usually rolling around on the floor, red-faced from uncontrollable giggling.

Good stuff- that's why I booked them.

They were based out of Plattsburgh, NY, so I knew they chartered a bus to get down here, equipped with external foghorns to blare Weird Al songs. Those kids were slick, I have to say.

The roads upstate are apparently still pretty treacherous from the storms last week, and, consequently, their bus slid out of control somewhere in the Catskills, flipped over a few times, and then caught fire.

Apparently a few of the kids who weren't instantly killed tried to crawl their way out of the wreckage. As a witness described it, "it was like these big balls of fire, with Hawaiian shirts melted over them like cheese... just like fireballs, with little chubby arms and legs flailing around, screaming for their mothers."

"The creepy part was how those foghorns kept blasting 'I Love Rocky Road' at full volume while those fat kids all burned to death... I still see it when I close my eyes."

So anyway, I think my show might be cursed.

First Vincenzo the Monkey commits suicide, and now this.

And for some reason, part of me feels like some of that fat kid blood is on MY hands.

Well, hey, spilled milk, right?

The next World's Greatest Grandson show is Tuesday June 8th- with special musical guests The Cowmen!!!

Love,

bc

Why You Should Attend "World's Greatest Grandson" This Tuesday

Hello, etc!

In addition to the great selection of comedians we have scheduled for World's Greatest Grandson on May 18th, I'm very happy to announce a rare special appearance by The Dare To Be Stupid Dancers.

If you aren't already aware of TDTBSD, it's essentially a bunch of fat kids in Hawaiian shirts, dancing around to "Weird Al" Yankovic songs.

They really have a lot of fun, laughing and dancing to "I Love Rocky Road" and other Weird Al songs, just laughing their fat asses off, doing the "Monkey" and the "Funky Chicken" and so forth, until they're all on the floor, rolling around, giggling hysterically.

It's pretty much the best thing ever; you really have to see it.

I Love You,

Bill Chambers

all the other details for the show can be found here:

http://www.yelp.com/events/brooklyn-worlds-greatest-grandson-2

My Response To The Rumors About What Happened To Vincenzo

The most recent World's Greatest Grandson show went swimmingly, except for the untimely passing of Vincenzo The Monkey.

I know there are all these rumors flying around about what happened, and from what I've heard, it's almost all complete bullshit. So let me set the record straight.

I hired Vincenzo to come out on stage dressed up like a cowboy. Hat, boots, sheriff's badge, the whole nine yards. Then he was going to pretend to "draw" his guns on me, and that's pretty much it. I can't explain why, but there's something about an orangutan dressed up like a cowboy that's just really fucking funny.

So anyway, when Vincenzo arrived at the bar that night, I paid him $20 up front. Now, it's my standard policy to NEVER pay the acts who perform on my show. I just don't believe in it. I will, however, make exceptions when it's really worth it. Vincenzo was not only worth it, but I was afraid that if I didn't pay him, he might ape-out and start ripping people's faces off.

As soon as I gave Vincenzo the money, he dropped off his dufflebag backstage and jetted out the door.

At this point I would like to mention:
I have NO IDEA where Vincenzo went, or what he was up to. At no point in time was I ever considered to be responsible for that monkey's well-being, and I CERTAINLY had no prior knowledge of his drug problem.

So if you hear anyone accusing me of procuring drugs for Vincenzo, or giving him money to get drugs for ME, it's fucking bullshit.

When Vincenzo returned a few hours later, nobody noticed anything unusual about his demeanor. But also, nobody REALLY knew Vincenzo. He was kind of a loner. Sure he hung out around the scene, and did the circuit, but I never saw him really hanging out with anybody outside of the shows.

The show began, and Vincenzo spent the whole time chilling backstage, eating grapes. I went back there during Calvin's set to tell Vincenzo he was up next, and when I got there, he was fully dressed in his cowboy costume and staring at himself in the mirror. I called his name a few times, and when he finally noticed my presence, he slowly turned around, pulled what I assumed to be a TOY gun out of his holster, and blew his fucking brains out. Right in fucking front of me. Nobody out front even heard the gunshot, because Calvin was killing so hard.

I immediately started rooting through Vincenzo's pockets, vainly searching for the $20 I gave him earlier.

All I found was a receipt for $10 worth of grapes.

Oh, and a half-smoked joint. I quickly smoked the rest, to destroy the evidence, and then that's when I came out and made the fake announcement about how I couldn't find Vincenzo anywhere. It might not have been the best decision to lie like that, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. And then that fucking chick looking for the bathroom stumbled backstage, saw Vincenzo, and started screaming.

And you've probably heard some inaccurate version of everything that happened next.

Well, let me tell you something:

I am a good person.
Don't believe everything you hear.
It's not my fault what happened to Vincenzo.

Oh yeah, and the next show is Tuesday May 18th. Totally come out to that shit!!

Sincerely,
bc

Vincenzo, 1991-2010

World's Greatest Grandson- Tuesday May 18th!!

World's Greatest Grandson returns on Tuesday, May 18th!

"The best reason to go to Greenpoint since escaping Poland!"

This time, the jams will be kicked out by:

RG Daniels!
Jen Perney!
Shawn Jones!
Katy Olsen!
John Murdock!
Ed Larson (of Murderfist)!
sketch comedy from Rue Brutalia!
and special guests!

Hosted by the enigmatic Bill Chambers!

Van Gogh's Radio Lounge
147 Franklin St (btwn India & Java)
Greenpoint, Brooklyn
G train to Greenpoint Ave

NO COVER, FREE SHOW! DRINK SPECIALS ALL NIGHT!

Here's the Yelp link, if that's what you're into:

http://www.yelp.com/events/brooklyn-worlds-greatest-grandson-2

World's Greatest Grandson!

What?

World's Greatest Grandson is a free comedy show featuring the most interesting stand up comics and sketch groups in NYC.

When?

Every first and third Tuesday of the month, 9pm.

Where?

Van Gogh's Radio Lounge

147 Franklin Street (btwn India & Java)

Greenpoint, Brooklyn

G Train to Greenpoint Ave

Who?

WGG is produced and hosted by beloved American treasure Bill Chambers, who is often joined by his sidekick and co-writer, the legendary NYHC drummer known as R.E.A.

Why?

Why do I do it?

Because I am selfish and lazy, and hosting a show is a great way to make all my favorite comedians come to one place and make me laugh. I think of it like making my own custom playlist.

Why should you check out the show?

Because I have great taste, so the line up is always awesome.

Sometimes I'm even funny.

Your Friend,

bc