Frozen Eyeballs

The ocean doesn't freeze, mainly because the high salt content of the water makes it almost impossible.

For several psychological reasons, I am physically incapable of crying.

Tears are salty, like the ocean, to protect one's eyeballs from freezing in cold temperatures.

And thus, my inability to produce tears has a horrifying potential side effect:

Frozen Eyeballs.

I'm usually very careful to make sure this never happens, but last night the heat in my building shut off.

And I woke up this morning with frozen eyeballs.

It doesn't hurt when they freeze, but the thawing process is extremely painful.
It feels like someone is pressing his thumb into your eyeball.

A thumb caked with sand.